Vampires Suck

Celebrity photographer Connor Mead lives life in the fast lane, committed to lifelong bachelorhood and simultaneous relationships with multiple women. On the eve of his younger brother Paul's wedding, Connor's mockery of love proves a real buzz-kill for everyone - including his childhood crush, Jenny, the one woman who always seemed immune to his considerable charms. Later that night, he gets a wake-up call from the ghost of his late Uncle Wayne, the hard-partying, legendary ladies' man who was Connor's mentor. Uncle Wayne has an urgent message which he delivers through three ghosts who guide Connor on an eye-opening tour of his romantic past, present and future. Along the way, they attempt to discern whether he will ever be able to change his ways -- and if there is any hope of him finding true love.

The owner of a factory that produces flavor extracts, Joel Reynold seems to have it all, but really doesn't. What's missing is sexual attention from his wife, Suzie. Joel hatches a convoluted plan to get Suzie to cheat on him, thereby clearing the way for Joel to have an affair with Cindy, an employee. But what Joel doesn't know is that Cindy is a sociopathic con artist, and a freak workplace accident clears the way for her to ruin Joel forever.

Failed actor-turned-worse-high-school-drama-teacher Dana Marschz rallies his Tucson students as he conceives and stages a politically incorrect musical sequel to Shakespeare's Hamlet.

A young black woman discovers that her father was a sperm donor, and if that wasn't bad enough, he's white.

Brennan Huff and Dale Doback might be grown men. But that doesn't stop them from living at home and turning into jealous, competitive stepbrothers when their single parents marry. Brennan's constant competition with Dale strains his mom's marriage to Dale's dad, leaving everyone to wonder whether they'll ever see eye to eye.

It was an ingenious enough plan: rob the Riviera Casino's count room during an Elvis impersonator convention. But Thomas Murphy decided to keep all the money for himself and shot all his partners, including recently-freed ex-con Michael Zane. With $3.2 million at stake, the Marshals Service closing in, Michael must track down Murphy.

Nick cannot stop obsessing over his ex-girlfriend, Tris, until Tris' friend Norah suddenly shows interest in him at a club. Thus begins an odd night filled with ups and downs as the two keep running into Tris and her new boyfriend while searching for Norah's drunken friend, Caroline, with help from Nick's band mates. As the night winds down, the two have to figure out what they want from each other.

Sir James Bond is called back out of retirement to stop SMERSH. In order to trick SMERSH, James thinks up the ultimate plan - that every agent will be named 'James Bond'. One of the Bonds, whose real name is Evelyn Tremble is sent to take on Le Chiffre in a game of baccarat, but all the Bonds get more than they can handle.

An Afro-American organization, the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D., is in permanent fight against a white organization "The Man" defending the values of the black people in North America. When the Afro-American candidate Gen. Warren Boutwell behaves strangely in his presidential campaign, Undercover Brother is hired to work undercover for "The Man" and find what happened with the potential candidate.

Charley, a cyborg vampire who does the Vatican's dirty work, is the thrall of the local vampire playboy Johnny Rayflo. As the two fight crime—and each other—hilarity, violence and sacrilege ensue! But can Charley resist his own desperate cravings for blood? Find out as the devilish duo go up aginst a childlike vampire princess, a mysterious branch of the Unitarian Church...and one another.

A psychiatrist with intense acrophobia (fear of heights) goes to work for a mental institution run by doctors who appear to be crazier than their patients, and have secrets that they are willing to commit murder to keep.

Teaman gets his tea bags stolen by an autistic child and needs to make a team to get them back.